New Life

On Sunday Lauren, Jessica, Tiffany and I ventured out in a Tuk-tuk to a church in Phnom Penh called New Life Center... Ken had told us that it was a legit church, and we were almost positive that it was the church my friend's friends were going to be at. (Did I already explain that? My friend Scott Daily who I have known since Jr. High School but haven't seen or talked to in years messaged me last week saying that his girl friend and roommate and other friends were in Cambodia on a missions trip through Azusa. I have been in touch with his girlfriend, Nicole, and with the leader of their trip, Tracy, via phone and facebook, and we were hoping to meet up and swap stories.) When we got to church, we got headphone translators, and I walked up to a group of western students and said, "Hi, are you guys from Azusa?" Sure enough, it was the team. Right away, Nicole, Tracy, and Scott's room mate, Steven got up and introduced themselves. We sat near them, and the service started. 

There was rocking worship, and strong, energetic worship dance with tambourines. It reminded me of worship in South Korea (reference that will only really help Heather, Gen, and my British friends...) I feel like in America worship dance is silly/cheesy, but this was... awesome. The Cambodians who were dancing were all my age, they were excited and joyful and beautiful. The songs were being sung in Khmer, and the words on the screen were Khmer with English translation, but then they did One Way, and even though it was in Khmer, I could sing along in English. 

One Way is a huge part of my testimony, it is a song that has continually been important at various markers in my life. When they played it at New Life, I was overwhelmed. I have been waiting to break down this whole week, I have been asking God when he was going to let me weep for his people, for his Beloved in Cambodia. I have been feeling the burden of the oppressed, the poor, the broken, and I have felt like I had no outlet for that pressure. All the stories I have heard did not make me cry, and all the things I have seen that should have made me cry have not. I was starting to feel emotionally cramped. I wanted to cry out to the Lord, I felt like I was on the edge of it, yet it had not come yet. Well, on Sunday in church it came. 

I was standing next to Lauren, who was already crying for the sheer joy of being in church (She has not been in about a year and a half.) Next to her was Tiffany, experiencing her first time in church as a Christian, and then Jessica, who had God promise to her that she was going to Cambodia a year ago and who has been loving every aspect of this trip... needless to say it was an intense time for all of us. 

After One Way they played Above All: "crucified, laid behind a stone. He lived to die, rejected and alone. like a rose, trampled on the ground, he took the fall, and thought of me above all..." and that is when I really lost it. I found myself on my knees, sobbing, so sweetly broken over finally being able to express my heart for this place and having so much joy and freedom in being able to express to the Lord the pain I feel for the tragedies here. It was such a needed time, and I felt so safe in the fellowship of the international body of believers. I love the Kingdom of God. It is the most beautiful thing on this earth to be able to have a family almost anywhere you go. After Above All they played Majesty: "Your grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in  your hands..." That is how I feel in this place. Actually, that is how I have felt this whole season. It has been a hard semester, sure, and there are a handful of things that hurt my heart at the moment, but I am alive in His hands. I have joy in all circumstances because I am at rest in His will. I have nothing to offer, and it is only through his power that I am still smiling. Sweetly broken, alive in His hands. Church was so good, too. There were parts of the teaching that I was like, "um, huh? I don't think so..." But for the most part it was great. The one thing that jumped out to me was the idea that it is not our successes that make us succeed more, but rather how we allow God to deal with our failures and teach us through them. Good stuff. 

After church, my girls went back to the hotel and I went to lunch with the team from Azusa. They were such a blessing. They knew a lot of my south hills people from San Jose, and they were just so welcoming and open to having me tag along. Over lunch, two of them picked my brain on all that I have learned about the Khmer Rouge, and it was so nice to share it with people who love Jesus... They totally shared my burden, and wanted to know what had been hard for me. They listened to my stories about interviews, the history of the KR, and even what I have been experiencing with the class and what I had learned the night before from the missionary. They asked all the right questions, and encouraged me with words of truth in all the right ways. Fellowship is like healing balm, I swear, the body of Christ is the most beautiful thing. 

After lunch I went back with them to the YWAM center they are staying at, and then four of them (Nicole, Tracy, Steven, and a guy named Noah who is actually dating a girl that I was in small group with senior year... so fun...) came back to my hotel with me to go swimming, relax, use the free wireless, sip lime juice, and fellowship more. It was so refreshing for me. They were a great bunch. I am so grateful to Scott for connecting me with them, it really was exactly what I needed. I think that they liked the chance to swim, too. :) 

When they left I went out to dinner with some of the girls to a swanky place by the river. The food was great, and the night was not super hot, but I was soooo sleepy. I crashed right after typing up an interview report and reset my alarm three times before waking up this morning. 

I am fading fast now, I will have to tell you about our interview with the murderer tomorrow. Love you all... really. Thank you for your constant prayer, support, and encouraging messages, notes, and emails! 

~His